i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
