Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
