Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
