They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
