dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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