Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A+ Viking dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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