and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
