i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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