Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize