So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think my moral compass just broke
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
