There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
