how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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