How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
