We're like a lot better than the average bears
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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