lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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