we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
