the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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