So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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