shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
