I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
