my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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