There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
