I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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