last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize