yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
