my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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