OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
