2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
