It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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