so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
should my penis look like a turkey
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
