Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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