Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
