Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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