3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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