I wish i was in the wii world.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
