Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I am mentally ready for anal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
