She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
