If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize