There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
