Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
