I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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