why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
