You're my little dorito
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
