Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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