Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
