So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
