dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
