Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
