have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
