Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
