I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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