he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
