he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize