she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
