your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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