She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
