Me. At least after what I've been through.
Your dad touched me again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
send nudes
from the living room?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize