So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
