look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
