Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
