It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
