He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
