I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
