My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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