This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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