Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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