Please, let me fuck your mom
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
