so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
