as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
