My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
