She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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