so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
