We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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